Mindful Listening
By Karla Jensen, PhD
Chinese characters are used to explain the full meaning of a word or concept which can beautifully be seen in the character “listen” or “Ting.” I was introduced to the “listen” character in an undergraduate interpersonal communication class. At that time my biggest takeaway was appreciating the multi-faceted, complicated nature of listening. A decade ago when I began my mindfulness studies, the contemplative nature of the “Ting” character sprang to mind.
My long-time friend, Janet, and I have been corresponding about how etymology helps us appreciate the history and nuance of words more deeply. Janet, who was born and raised in China, reminded me that, although there are variations of the “Ting” character used in trainings, textbooks, and multiple websites (including the U.S. State Department), the following elements remain consistent: the simultaneous use of the eyes, ears, heart, mind, and undivided attention to understand and connect with others.
Over the past 35 years, I’ve used the “Ting” illustration to reveal the full spirit of listening in all my Communication Studies courses, and I now weave it into my mindfulness instruction as well. At its core, mindfulness is the intentional awareness of the present moment without judgment.
When paired with listening, mindfulness invites a conscious shift from passive, pseudo-listening where we may be physically present but mentally absent, to actively engaging with and committing to the speaker's experience. Ultimately, mindful listening is a skill we can hone with every interaction.
The journey to becoming a mindful listener is not without its challenges. Our natural tendencies to multitask, interrupt, or judge may rear their heads, requiring the patience and self-compassion a mindful mindset can bring. Mindful listening is not about achieving a state of perfect awareness; it's about recognizing when we've been swept away by a thought and then guiding our attention back to the present moment.
Genuine listening is a contemplative practice. Just like when you find your thoughts drifting from your breath in meditation, when you notice your own internal chatter while in a conversation, you can gently redirect your attention to your partner. Each conscious effort to focus on the speaker strengthens our listening muscles and paves the way for deeper connection.
Beyond mere words, mindful listening allows us to pick up on the subtle cues that paint the landscape of emotion. Consider how noticing a slight tremor in the voice, a shift in posture, or the flicker of an eye can offer a glimpse into a speaker's inner world. When we listen with a mindful heart and undivided attention, we become attuned to these delicate signals, allowing us to empathize and respond, both verbally and nonverbally, with sensitivity and compassion.
Mindfulness practices cultivate curiosity and a receptive state of mind. Often, our inherent biases color our understanding of what others are sharing. Mindfulness encourages us to recognize and understand these biases without allowing them to interfere with our listening. By acknowledging these judgements, we open ourselves to a more authentic understanding of a speaker’s message.
Mindfulness also teaches patience, an indispensable virtue when we sometimes have the urge to interrupt. Although perhaps well-meaning, an impulse to jump in and offer advice doesn’t allow our conversational partners to fully express themselves. Mindfulness teaches us how to pause, which provides the needed space for the speaker to finish their thoughts and the opportunity for the listener to fully grasp the entirety of message before thoughtfully responding.
In a world fraught with misunderstanding and conflict, the ability to truly comprehend one another is the cornerstone of healthy relationships. In my Communication Studies department we believe the foundation of any interaction is to “listen so others may speak and to speak so others may listen.” Imagine your own professional or civic organizations where colleagues generously listen to each other, not only with their ears, but also with their eyes, heart, mind, and undivided attention, seeking to understand, not just to react. Picture communities where dialogue replaces divisiveness, where empathy bridges differences, and where shared understanding fosters collaboration. This is the world that awaits us when we embrace the transformative power of mindful listening.
Karla Jensen, PhD, is a professor of Communication Studies and Contemplative Practices and a certified meditation and yoga teacher. She invites readers to investigate mindfulness by checking out reputable organizations and authors who support this practice.